Debunking the Myths (Understanding the Truth About Co-Regulation)

In recent years, co-regulation has emerged as a significant concept in education, emphasizing collaboration, empathy, and mutual respect between educators and students.  Unfortunately, co-regulation can often be deeply misunderstood. Amid the growing interest in its approach, misconceptions have arisen, particularly regarding its perceived impact on teacher-student dynamics and its role in the classroom. Let’s take this opportunity to debunk several common myths and explore what co-regulation is and what it is not.

Co-Regulation is not a fad.

Co-Regulation is not sending teachers to the office as some have suggested. It’s not shared in any punitive way. John Bowlby, Mary Ainsworth, Dr. Steven Porges, and Dr. Allan Schore have all demonstrated steeped research in how powerful attachment is for human beings. Dr. Shore explains, “Attachment is the carrier of the developing nervous system.” It’s not about giving in to behavior or not holding children accountable.

Co-Regulation is who we are. 

When we think about co-regulation, it is really who we are as social and communal creatures. In my previous years in the classroom and in my time spent in the classroom now, I’ve always asked myself, is my nervous system strong enough to hold both of us (student and teacher) for a moment or two? Co-regulation is not about surrendering control but rather about sharing responsibility and promoting a sense of agency among students. It recognizes that effective teaching involves building trust, empathy, and mutual respect between educators and students.

Co-Regulation is a Practice.

 A tool that can be of assistance with co-regulation that will be a part of our new manual, “Body and Brain Brilliance”, is called a ‘dual awareness sheet’. It’s a practice that is shared between educators and students as we embed reparative practices in our classrooms and schools. This dual awareness sheet is a trust-building practice, and we know that many of our children who come into our schools with behavioral challenges are children who come in not trusting adults. 

Students are often living in survival states in a fight, flight, or a shutdown. When their nervous systems are in survival and they cannot access the cortex, they cannot get to the region of the brain where they can problem-solve and emotionally regulate. Students can’t be logical or reason in these states and cannot process consequences or rewards. 

It is critical and foundational that schools and classrooms center reparative practices in their culture. We are learning from each other as we lean into each other and as we model the behaviors that we want to teach through dual awareness and the practice of sitting beside each other. We often have to reach beneath the behaviors we’re seeing or get in front of them. For more practices and strategies on how to do just this, please stay connected with us as we prepare to release our new manual, “Body and Brain Brilliance – a Manual to Cultivate Awareness and Practices for our Nervous Systems”. This manual will be available for you to utilize in your classrooms as you continue to sit beside your students and dig beneath their behaviors. You can read the free introduction to the manual here.